Of course it is easy to say to someone they need to love themselves, but it really is necessary. There are people who consume all time and effort on improving the lives of others, but as my mother tells me: you will get menopause by the time you are thirty!
Sexy is a state of mind
A way to be sexy is by loving yourself. Another way is to appeal to a specific person’s desire. Do you want to mould yourself to another person’s expectations or do you want to mould the world around you, not adhering to society’s norms but creating your own.
That said, if you feel sexy you should feel sexy if you were bald, if you were in the rain without make-up or even on a day you don’t get a compliment from anyone. Sexy comes from within you and then radiates outwards to the world.
“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” – Lucille Ball
If you sincerely enjoy your personality, the way you look, and just the way you are, then you have found true joy and inner happiness. You have a beautiful unique body made in this way; one in over six billion possible DNA combinations. There are small things you can do to see large results like exercising, eating right, beautifying yourself to enhance the canvas you have to paint on.
You are beautiful
Example: A friend of mine never really liked part of her face. In her culture, it is very normal to cosmetically enhance your image (through surgery) and much cheaper than other countries. Her friends have gone through several procedures for changing their bodies. Now, she is a beautiful girl; she is full of life and very positive. But she still focused on the one aspect she did not like, even though everyone else thinks it’s beautiful. One day, she realized she should love it, finally after much persuading and self-evaluation.
Go to your mirror, and find the parts you really enjoy about your body. If you cannot think of something immediately, try to remember what people compliment on you. The very self-secure people will now be looking at the part that makes them want to seduce themselves. (Eventually you should be able to love every part with great joy) Are you looking at it and feeling joy? Do everything you can to emphasize this part of your body. For example, I am very happy with my long legs. Whenever I can, I will try to emphasize it by clothing, which makes my legs look beautiful to myself.
Notice I said to myself. You need to look good to yourself, because you cannot live on other people’s approval. It’s exhausting, and you cannot please everyone. I look up to Marilyn Monroe’s personality and style, but others maybe perceive her as a slut. It doesn’t change how I feel about her, so why should people who do not contribute greatly in your life have a say in your self-opinion?
“Plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring your flowers.” – Veronica A. Shoffstall
If you wait for recognition from someone else, you may be waiting forever. If you recognize the beauty within yourself, others will too. Do you notice that when you talk enthusiastically about something like a Mars bar, there is a higher chance the listeners will purchase a Mars bar after your pitch. When you enjoy your look and yourself, you will promote you. Just like we learn in business, the best sales person is one that genuinely believes in the product they sell. Do you believe in yourself?
“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” – Buddha
– Buy yourself lingerie just for yourself. Sure, any men who will get to view it will be extremely happy and thankful as well, but sometimes the best feeling in the world is having your outside look as a serious professional and inside feeling the lining of the corset on your body. Anyone who has this experience will agree (Except the ones who have bad quality corsets) and I mean the type that is not choking your body but just accentuating it, although the tight one may slowly form your body to your liking.
– Treat yourself more often. You are living in this body so own it! Go and pamper yourself so that you get a gorgeous healthy glow. You will be irresistible and feel invincible.
– Have your me-time. Whether you want to do it before a date or just because it is a Sunday. Take time where you do things for yourself. Even just two hours of just taking a bath, listening to music, painting your nails or whatever you desire. That me-time is your present to yourself and you need that.
– Learn that sometimes, you need to put yourself first. If you are able to love yourself enough to make smart decisions for yourself before always considering others, you may end up making everyone happier.
At the end of the day, these are tips that worked for me. You just have to listen to yourself and you will find what you are searching for. Whether it is feeling sexy or feelings beautiful. Of course it does affect you when people give compliments, but it shouldn’t decide your self worth.