See part one [How to be sexy part 1 – Love yourself & be irresistible] here and part two [How to be sexy part 2: Lady/Gent Enigma] here.

Those people that manage to have all the intrigue and attention like a black hole sucking in the surroundings have a few things, which make them irresistible. Now, I’ve mentioned Confidence in being sexy part 2, but it is important to reiterate the importance beyond a small segment.

Confidence is the internal step someone can make towards becoming more sexy and more seductive, and putting themselves is using that confidence in the external environment to enhance their experience. Paired with some changes in body language and suddenly you will experience a divine power.

A lot of this may feel familiar from the previous article, as the most important aspects of becoming desirable are there. In order to be confident, you have to love yourself. To love yourself, you have to be full of positive thoughts. You get more positive as you follow your passion and you will feel young and alive. You want to avoid feeling old, because you are what you think.

The reason the same themes keep coming back is because repetition is one of the best ways to learn something and I think everyone deserves to know how to feel comfortable in their skin, beautiful, attractive, loved and sexy. Is that too much to ask?


It’s something to do with your radiation – what do you radiate? If someone attracted to you gets a whiff of desperation, they may not be singing the same tune anymore. Happy feel lucky can hardly ever go wrong 😉 It is fantastic and why feel sad when we have so much to live for! Especially when you are dumb and young – it is way more fun to be silly and make stupid mistakes now then it would when you are supposedly old and wise.

Confidence is defined in the dictionary as having full belief in oneself and one’s powers or abilities. Whether that is your superpowers or your ability to chew food in a glamorous way, it is all about your disposition.

Do you notice that sometimes someone who may not have won the “genetic lottery” has such an amazing personality that their looks start to become better? It is almost like that person gets hotter because they radiate and smile and laugh and have fun. Live on the wild side because things like having a symmetric face (commonly considered beautiful) is a feature people fall in lust with, they fall in love with a person’s personality and behaviour.

Not only will you seem more attractive, but there has been research done about people remembering people with attractive personalities as more attractive. They also remember those with foul personalities to look uglier than they actually do. I even remember that in my own experiences.

I think of it this way – confidence is like dancing to Drum and Bass. If you act as though you are great at dancing to it, others will look at you and believe it. If you do a half arsed act, you will look like rubbish and no one will think you belong there.

As the not too great Joseph Goebbels says; “If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it. The lie can be maintained only for such time as the State can shield the people from the political, economic and/or military consequences of the lie. It thus becomes vitally important for the State to use all of its powers to repress dissent, for the truth is the mortal enemy of the lie, and thus by extension, the truth is the greatest enemy of the State.” And “Make the lie big, make it simple, keep saying it, and eventually they will believe it”

Now I am not saying that you aren’t attractive with the quote; in the contrary actually! What is meant with the previous quote is that even if you may not realize your beauty/handsomeness immediately, act as though you do. Live in the future you aim for and you will notice those around you responding positively to your newfound appreciation.

Now it is one thing to be pleasantly positive about oneself but you should stretch it a bit to make yourself feel delicious. That doesn’t mean that you should make it the (Your Name) show; being able to love yourself and conveying it doesn’t require a lot of effort and talking. Begin by not putting yourself down. I know many people that have a lot of trouble taking a compliment. I used to be one of them when I was depressed and insecure of myself. Say thank you, and eventually you may see what everyone else has been seeing all along.

Confidence is:

Not apologizing for being comfortable in your skin. 

If you don’t have a filter on what you say and you enjoy it, good on you! Yes, there are times we do need to change our behaviour and apologize because we have been acting awful, but you should give yourself the right to enjoy being in your skin.

Realizing that no one defines you other than you.

Many people rely on the outer world to boost their inner experiences, however, if you feel you look amazing – others will simply amplify it!

Giving yourself worth.

Do you notice that one bad comment needs about twenty to get your feelings back to status quo? That is a common occurrence –  we are sensitive to criticism and not as susceptible to compliments. I am not sure why but it may be due to our naturally negative tendencies. Most likely founded on a negative self image. Someone who loves themselves will not be deterred by one person’s opinion.

Become the sun.

Yes that is right ~ become a shining ball of heat in the centre of our solar system. Not exactly no. I believe you can be radiant, you can be energetic and you can have a gravitational pull. If you grow some positive energy you can become more positive and happy continuously. Same goes for the negative side but better to steer clear of that!

Putting yourself out there

People say this constantly. You must just put yourself out there so you can experience the world. In one way I agree but not completely. Think about the geniuses of the past. They seem pretty calculated with their methods and ways. Do you think Einstein just went and chatted up all the chicks – although, I am sure he didn’t need to say anything and just show the caterpillar on his face doing a little dance.

What would you classify as putting yourself out there? Is it risking your feelings and putting them on the line when it comes to your love interest? Or just trying to “pull” everyone?  Or is it a general carpe diem feeling?

Let us say it is the first: putting your feelings on the line for a certain someone. Showing you have strong feelings for someone after dating quite some time is obviously going to be welcome. Showing someone you have strong feelings are one date- not so welcome.

Even though I find myself slightly lame to quote a series, How I Met Your Mother had a really good quote about love: “Love needs two things – timing and chemistry. When one is missing, it won’t work.” (Something along those lines) Relationships are always risky – everything with a reward is. That is why personally I prefer dating for a while before proceeding into a rollercoaster of expectations, emotions and petty arguments. Am I bitter? Perhaps. I’ve had my fair share to speak from my experience.

The second option aka trying to “pull” everyone. Where the “putting out” bit gets literal. Should one “put out”? This is of course, entirely up to the individual. Many seek comfort in numbers due to past emotions. It takes your mind of things, it can give you the thrill, and I suppose the hunter instinct comes into play.

For a non promiscuous person as myself, this doesn’t really seem like an option. I don’t want to have to test myself for AIDS and STD’s every month. Not that an active promiscuous sex life necessary requires that, but if I were to do it, I would do that afterwards. So no gracias.

Finally, carpe diem. That one I like. We should be wild and crazy and try weird things that we dare to dream but often not do. Personally I have had my fair share of wild dreams and managed to live out quite some. Live is too short to not make some delicious mistakes here and there. How you want to define that, that is up to you. Spontaneity seems to be the best way to go about this. You want to do a part time study on nutrition whilst you work in a career of marketing? Squeeze it in when you can! You want to go and have sex on the London Bridge? Do it! You want to experiment? Go for it!

The best thing we can do is open ourselves to the possibility of actualizing our dreams and not be too hasty to decline what frightens us. It isn’t easy and will not come naturally to everyone, therefore we must consciously choose to keep evolving and becoming the most carpe diem we can be.