Lily Cramer

Life, Love & Health | Ways to embrace self-improvement and increase life learning.

Being a “drama mama”

Drama

We love it, we avoid it, we drown in it, we throw it onto others.

Who lives drama free? Even Jesus and Buddha had people go behind their back and gossip. Gossip exists – every day in every age to everyone. Are you part of the process?

We share to bond. My friend Stuart told me that like monkeys pick each other’s lice out, we gossip. Whether that is informative or just plain downright bitch level. Why do we need this? Couldn’t we just collect berries and kill animals back in the cave time and now just do bonding activities? Let’s look into this deeper.

Knowledge is power. We learn that in the business world there is a dilemma because the information you have processed into knowledge is valuable, however, the moment you share it with someone else to validate it, the value drastically decreases. Entrepreneurs know what I am talking about since new ideas cannot be realized alone but when shared with others, it may bring your business into jeopardy. If we are hesitant about sharing information in the business world, why do we shout it out in our private lives?

Friends hold a certain value in your heart and life. They are beacons to your fortress (hopefully) and you value their opinion (again, hopefully). Why would you risk that to share some juicy details that are not yours to tell? I think I figured it out – because you feel that through the act of “giving” someone information it is building that bond. The priviledge the person gets of you bending your rules and telling a secret that is not yours to tell gives them the feeling they are special. We all want to feel special.

But this will backfire. Why would people trust you if you gladly tell the secrets of another? Logic is obviously not the best friend of gossip.

My suggestion?

Love those around you – they can choose to gossip about you but you should make a habit to be the bigger person. Fighting fire with fire just makes a larger fire which turns into you both getting arrested for arson. What is the point of lying about other people to people? What good does random information do to someone who it does not concern in any way? There are extreme cases where I suppose if you must you can make an exception. When I was 16, a girl stole 40 Euros in the high school gym and denied it whilst she was the only one in the room. But I never made up a rumour or lied.

Tip: When confronted with gossip relevant to you, go to the source.

If blah blah did some blah with blah which hurt blahdiblah and in some parallel universe this concerns you, then go ask blah blah. That’s the most likely place to get an honest answer. If Blah blah doesn’t tell you, maybe you don’t deserve to know. Get over it.

If you ever feel like you are unable to resist the urge, remember Eleanor Roosevelt’s words:

Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.

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© 2018 Lily Cramer