Lily Cramer

Life, Love & Health | Ways to embrace self-improvement and increase life learning.

Tradition(al) dating – Is it outdated?

Tradition – no matter how you polish up a shoe it is still a shoe. It might be shinier but in the end it is a tool to put on your foot to keep it warm and from injury. Do you think human nature is different? This article will discuss perspectives regarding dating and career in order to open this interesting topic of debate.

Dating

Cavemen were the hunters who would go out, “bring home the bacon” and drag the fittest cavewoman to the cave and f*** her. Probably not having much kissing going on because that is something that society made a norm and brought no value in cave times. Kissing began with the higher civilizations and progressed to become universal.

The hunt – the chase. Show someone something that is interesting and he or she looks. Now tell them they cannot have it, they will get a small spark of interest in their eyes. Now put the item in front of them next to two items almost identical and leave. What will happen? They will go for the very piece you said they couldn’t have and admire it. It is special. “Why do I always want the one person I cannot have?” is a common used phrase and this is why men need to feel like the hunter – to feel like there is something worth chasing. The woman is definitely interested too but if they chase you then you will run a mile; Human instinct as usual. Now there are the ladies do’s and don’ts according my friend who wrote the article from a guy’s perspective:

Women are ridiculously complex and difficult. We guys do enjoy a chase but playing hard to get has limits. When the guy has finally got the balls to ask you out then please follow these simple guidelines:

1.     DO be optimistic, DON’T get ahead of yourself- try to have realistic expectations and not plan the rest of your lives with children and white bells and whatever.

2.     DO wear sexy underwear – even if you DON’T think anything is going to happen

3.     DO dress to impress, DON’T wear anything too sexy over the underwear – or else you will get what your looks are asking for.

4.     DO check FaceBook – for common interests but DON’T stalk. 

5.     DO be yourself and smile, DON’T do a fake laugh – be real.

6.     DO eat like a lady and DON’T order a salad and water – it is not sexy at all when you are a grown lady eating rabbit food.

7.     DO tell about your past experiences and history but DON’T start turning it into some nagging therapy session.

8.     DON’T talk about your ex.

9.     DO try to read body language if you want to pick up hints but DON’T psychoanalyze your date.

10. DO have your own opinion, DON’T agree/disagree all the time just to please/tease him.

Just don’t talk about the ex and don’t lie all the time. Lying to impress someone is dressing your personality to another suit. It’s the most stupid thing ever.

Tradition prevails where nature is concerned. I wish it didn’t – I wish we could all be completely absorbent to the new evolving world and be emancipated but it doesn’t seem that easy. We have more equal relationships but when it comes down to initially game play / dating – here is an extract that might help:

Romeo, Romeo…

Somewhere in the days of old-fashioned values — tucked away neatly in movies such as Casablanca and Gone With the Wind — men were expected to approach the women and make the first move. These values have remained ingrained in our minds — at least in women’s — as they wait around for the men to be the aggressors.

While women don’t necessarily need men to throw pebbles at their window and climb up the tree to get to them, women do wish for some romance; at least the feeling that they are being pursued.

Read more: http://www.askmen.com/dating/heidi/29b_dating_girl.html#ixzz1fP8alVNf

They like a BIT of the chase. Make it fun instead of making it an obstacle course. What kind of expectations do you have?

Expectations are a big issue for everyone. We want people to be equal and it is important to want to be equal but do remember that you are looking at the wrapping of the gift that has been molded in the last few hundred years and the centre is molded from millions of years of evolution. Let’s welcome the new whilst keeping in mind the old.

Feminist movements have only taken place in the last few hundred years and still we are faced with many gender doubles.

Physically, women are expected to shave or wax everything except the hair on their heads (eyebrows are to be shaped), wear heels to slim their legs, have sexy clothing and have no cellulite. Women are at times considered the beholders of beauty, which age steals if we are to believe the media. Embrace femininity as a strength, not a temporary benefit.

There is a saying men like to joke about – “Men are like wine, the older they get the better they taste. Women on the other hand are like cheese, they eventually go bad.” I found a female version looking for this quote and found this:

Apples and Wine- Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don’t want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes take the apples from the grounds that aren’t as good, but easy. The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they’re amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree! Now Men…. Men are like a fine wine. They begin as grapes, and it’s up to women to stomp the shit out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.” I think this is an extreme opinion and I definitely think this woman has not had many pleasant experiences with men.

Career

Mentally, women are expected to thrive as an equal in the work place, be challenging, not clingy, avoid gossip, take initiative and still be the damsel in distress. Majority of the time this is an enjoyable new found respect in regards to equality but you are forgetting the old tale of: human instinct.

My late grandmother was slightly a feminist. She attended the meetings with a skirt and red lipstick (much to the dismay of the others) and said I am a feminist but I will wear red lipstick and a skirt because that is what I like to do. She raised my mother in a way that caused my mother to thrive academically and become a vice president of a huge international company. Not everyone is trying to be a housewife anymore and I think it is amazing that we have reached the point where men and women are nearly equal. But how often do people not get biased based on gender? Human instinct.

Feminist movement may be on the works but does that mean we can discard millions of years of history of basic instinct similar to those of other animals? We have evolved rapidly with new technologies, dominating the world, but do you think our genetics have managed to catch up to these fast developments? Women are still not equal in the workplace. Do you know why? HUMAN INSTINCT. All those millions of years of the man being the hunter, chasing the women, getting the food, the woman being the mother, taking care of the babies and collecting berries – that doesn’t disappear in a few hundred years. It would be great if it partially did.

With men currently on top, it is difficult for many women to reach their way to the top. It is happening, but at a gradual pace. The thing is, many women believe they must abandon part of their femininity to be in a leader role, trying to embrace their masculine side. In some businesses, this is more advantageous but women are also a growing consumer group responsible for majority of the consumer purchases in their households. Women consumers are on the rise and as they become a larger presence, there must be suitable like minded souls contributing to production and service processes.

In conclusion…

If there was gender equality, we wouldn’t be hearing the current murmurs we are, women applying for a job and getting rejected from being recently married (with the worry she will carry a child soon), women getting lower wages and most of all men and women could live equally. The same occurs when discussing equality regardles of sexual preferences, as in the case with people having issues with the gay community. I really admire their strength and courage while they are still struggling and getting comfortable being out and open. We don’t want people to be sexist and biased but it still occurs. It comes down to tradition vs. modern. What will it be?

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© 2018 Lily Cramer